Tentacles All the Way
by Alli
Oh, what fun it is to ride…. a man with tentacles? Hey!
In my vast holiday research (AKA reading as many Christmas related stories as I can before my brain explodes), I’ve noticed a very specific trend. Yeah, part of it is the multi-author multi-book collection Tinsel and Tentacles, but that’s not the only context where I’ve come across the phenomenon. Why have monster romance authors decided to associate tentacled men with the holiday season? Why is there such a market that there’s a proliferation of books in this highly specific “micro genre”? I’m going to make some partially qualified guesses. (Yeah, I could just ask the authors themselves, but that’s less fun for me.)
Okay, first off, I want to get this out of the way: tentacles are hot. On our most recent and first Christmas episode of 2025, where we discuss Merry Christmas for Art… And His Tentacles by Amy Bellows and Shannon Mae, Plot is Optional officially comes down on the side of tentacles, firmly and enthusiastically: being held down my tentacles, the sensations involved, self lubrication, etc. We love it! We get it, and we see you, historic Japanese erotic artists! You are valid!
As always though, I have to overthink everything! What if there are deeper reasons for this trend? Cultural reasons, perhaps?
Christmas is an extremely human holiday! Yeah, I know, other species don’t celebrate holidays, but bear with me. There’s the initial reason of celebrating the birth of a deity of a religion that co-opted pagan holidays, which celebrate the darkest days of the year. Then, there’s the “oooh! shiny!” aspect: Christmas trees, tinsel, ornaments, wrapping paper, lights, bows. Finally, culturally the spirit of giving and altruism that’s supposed to be the reason for the season has been taken over by rampant capitalistic marketing and excessive consumerism. That all sounds extremely human: good intentions gone bad or transformed for better or worse. It’s a hallmark of our species.
What’s extremely inhuman? Tentacles, boneless appendages with micro brains that can act and taste and touch independent of each other. How wild is that! Of course this creates a culture-clash, fish-out-of-water (pun very intended) scenario that makes for a great holiday story. A human getting to experience the holiday through fresh eyes, demonstrating the power of love and Christmas magic! It’s a recipe for success, and results in some of the coziest monster romance known to reader-kind.
Maybe, though, it’s just practical thinking. In the book Kringle and the Kraken by Vinni George, Levi the Kraken demonstrates how useful it would be to have tentacles while preparing for the holiday season! Untangling lights in half the time! Working at a Christmas tree farm is safer if you have appendages with super strength! Even our original cephalopod heartthrob, Art, helps hanging ornaments and straightening decor at the work Christmas party! Really, the dream of every obsessive holiday decorator is to have more hands.
Ultimately, I think this micro genre is onto something. Practicality, eroticism, cultural exploration. Maybe, the real Christmas magic is the tentacle sex we had along the way.